Heavy Is the Point
Limited Stock Available
Sizing Help by Email
Premium Quality Guaranteed
30-Day Money-Back Guarantee
Fast & Secure Shipping
Heavy Is the Point
Limited Stock Available
Sizing Help by Email
Premium Quality Guaranteed
30-Day Money-Back Guarantee
Fast & Secure Shipping
Heavy Is the Point
Limited Stock Available
Sizing Help by Email
Premium Quality Guaranteed
30-Day Money-Back Guarantee
Fast & Secure Shipping
Heavy Is the Point
Limited Stock Available
Sizing Help by Email
Premium Quality Guaranteed
30-Day Money-Back Guarantee
Fast & Secure Shipping
Heavy Is the Point
Limited Stock Available
Sizing Help by Email
Premium Quality Guaranteed
30-Day Money-Back Guarantee
Fast & Secure Shipping
Heavy Is the Point
Limited Stock Available
Sizing Help by Email
Premium Quality Guaranteed
30-Day Money-Back Guarantee
Fast & Secure Shipping

Filmed by Customers

Weight tests, doorstep moments, and people who only meant to try it on.

Deep-Pile Coral Fleece
Oversized Unisex Cut
Hood That Holds Its Shape
Front Pocket, Full Length
Centimetres, Not Vanity Labels
Machine Washable at 30
Deep-Pile Coral Fleece
Oversized Unisex Cut
Hood That Holds Its Shape
Front Pocket, Full Length
Centimetres, Not Vanity Labels
Machine Washable at 30
Deep-Pile Coral Fleece
Oversized Unisex Cut
Hood That Holds Its Shape
Front Pocket, Full Length
Centimetres, Not Vanity Labels
Machine Washable at 30
Deep-Pile Coral Fleece
Oversized Unisex Cut
Hood That Holds Its Shape
Front Pocket, Full Length
Centimetres, Not Vanity Labels
Machine Washable at 30
Deep-Pile Coral Fleece
Oversized Unisex Cut
Hood That Holds Its Shape
Front Pocket, Full Length
Centimetres, Not Vanity Labels
Machine Washable at 30
Deep-Pile Coral Fleece
Oversized Unisex Cut
Hood That Holds Its Shape
Front Pocket, Full Length
Centimetres, Not Vanity Labels
Machine Washable at 30

Four Things Worth Knowing First.

The honest version of what you are buying, before you pick a size.

The Fleece Is Where the Money Went

Cheap onesies use a thin brushed knit that feels acceptable in the bag and goes bobbly after three washes. This is deep-pile coral fleece with noticeable weight when you lift it, and it holds that weight through a winter of washing. It is the least visible decision on this page and the one that decides whether you keep wearing it.

Why We Will Not Quote You a Number

Plenty of listings quote a fabric weight in grams. We are not printing one until the supplier confirms it in writing, because an unverified number is worse than no number. Judge it on the weight test and on how it feels in your hands — and send it back if it is not what we said.

Take the Size You Already Are

The oversized room is built into the cut, so sizing up is the mistake most people make and the reason most onesies get returned. Use the size guide below — those measurements come off our own samples, taken flat with a tape and published in centimetres with a height range. On the boundary, or buying for someone else? Email us first.

One Cut, One Fleece, Several Faces

Every colourway shares the same silhouette and the same fleece — only the character changes. The size you learn once is the size you order forever, and the second one is a different character rather than a spare.

The real reason

Nobody Has Ever Mentioned Your Loungewear.

You own the grey set. It is soft, it is perfectly nice, it cost what it should have cost, and it has never once started a conversation or made you noticeably warmer.

That is the whole category in a sentence. Warm was solved fifteen years ago, and since then everyone has competed on price for a garment nobody remembers wearing.

Fits your actual day

A Blanket Cannot Come With You.

The blanket is warm and the blanket is useless the moment you stand up. Every trip to the kitchen is a decision about whether you can be bothered to be cold for ninety seconds.

Full length, hood, pocket. Same warmth, except it follows you — to the door, to the kettle, to the other end of the house where the heating never quite reaches.

Out of the box

Measured Flat, Published in Centimetres.

Apparel is returned more than almost anything else, and it is nearly always sizing. So we did the dull thing: bought samples, measured them flat with a tape, and published the centimetres next to a height range rather than reprinting a chart from a supplier we cannot verify.

Take your normal size. If you are between two, or buying for somebody who does not know you are buying it, send us their height and we will just tell you which one.

A gift that means it

Two of Them Is the Actual Joke.

Joint presents are hard. Most are either boring or something only one person actually wanted. Two matching Flumpzys solves it in one move — it is funny, it gets worn constantly, and it produces the photograph before anyone has asked for one.

The oversized unisex cut is what makes it work across two very different bodies, which is why the pair is the thing people come back for.

Have a question?

Help center

If you have an issue or question that requires immediate assistance, you can click the button below to chat live with a Customer Service representative.

Customer support team from: 8am to 7:30pm daily.

Average answer time: 5h.

Contact Us

Be honest — will I actually wear it, or is it a one-time joke?

What is Flumpzy?

What size should I order?

How warm is it, and can I wear it out?

How do I wash it without ruining it?

What if it doesn't fit?